Crushes: And My Terrible Luck With Them (Part One)

First of all, in an effort to protect the identities of these people I will use fake names. Also, these aren't all my crushes, just the significant ones. So here is a short version of my long and unfulfilled love life.

To start, my first real crush was in Kindergarten. I remember him well, I also remember why I stopped liking him. Let's call him... Phillip. The moment I started liking him was in gym class. I was zooming around on those scooter things, what are they called?

That's it! I think it's literally just called a gym scooter. Anyway I was on my stomach nyooming (No, that's not a real word. It should be though) around the gym. I looked over at Phillip who was sitting out on a chair because of some reason or another and it just hit me. He was so cute. He had blonde curly hair and blue eyes and my brain has done this thing over time so that when I remember that moment it's like there was this magic spotlight on him. In third grade I had a class with him again and was very excited, until I saw him eat one of his own boogers. That crush died a harsh and unforgiving death faster than a rose in winter.

My first 'boyfriend' was... Phil (I know, i'm so creative) it was first grade. Red-brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles. He also knew how to make me laugh like crazy. I remember one day at recess I was hanging around by the monkey bars or something and Phil popped up in front of me upside down and asked "Do you like Pokemon?" I loved Pokemon. After discovering our mutual like of Pokemon he asked me "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" I had no clue what the term meant. Like okay your already my friend, and a boy? I was like "Sure" and that is how I got my first 'boyfriend'. If only it was still that easy. Our 'dating' was purely a status thing that didn't last. The school year ended and we hadn't broken up. I had another crush in second grade that I never asked to be my boyfriend because I was still technically 'dating' Phil. I was a very loyal girlfriend. I went to summer school in between third and fourth grade where I finally saw Phil. I nudged my friends and nodded to him "That's my boyfriend" I whispered to them excitedly. "Phil!" I called out cheerfully. He turned to me and asked "Who are you?" which really hurt. I was embarrassed and upset, I obviously didn't leave as much of an impression on him as he left on me. I considered that our 'breakup'. At some point in fourth grade Phil walked by me and cheerfully said "Hi Tabitha!" as if summer school had never happened. However I was still mad.

Next came Mike, my second 'boyfriend'. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and (such a surprise) freckles. We were friends before either of us admitted to our mutual crush. This was the end of fourth grade and the beginning of fifth after I had changed schools. I remember during recess he approached me as I was writing and his face was red. On the bench next to me was a small group of fifth grade girls who were extremely interested in what Mike was doing talking to me. Bit of setup to this, just before recess one of the popular girls told the entire class I liked Mike, including Mike. He said he had something to tell me and then proceeded to not tell me anything. He then asked to write what he wanted to say on the back of my paper. A school paper I might add, that I had never finished. He wrote "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" I had a better understanding of the word this time but still didn't fully grasp the concept. This was my turn to blush and stammer "yeah." Those fifth grade girls were giggling like a pack of hyenas and going "aww." I swear they even leaned in to read what he wrote on my paper. However we didn't last long, he broke up with me in the beginning of fifth grade. He said it was because his dad said he was to young to have a girlfriend but I wasn't his first girlfriend and he didn't have an issue with that before. I suspect the real reason he broke up with me is because I was to clingy and he liked kickball more. Kickball is the real boyfriend thief.

My next crush was just a bit after Mike. My crush on him lasted from the second half of fifth grade to the first half of tenth grade. There was a brief intermission in eight grade where I liked this boy Riley instead but I'm trying to make this short. Maybe if anyone ever reads this and wants to know more, i'll write about it, for now i'm doing my best to shorten this. Lets call him...Trey. Trey. Started out as a crush and ended as a love/hate thing. Basically nothing ever happened even though i'm fairly sure the feeling was mutual. I stopped liking him because I met Al and then I moved. But this would be the longest and most dramatic crush I've had if I cared to write it all out. Okay, Al was more dramatic, maybe not, it's debatable.

Al, my next crush. My most wild crush. We became close friends despite having only known each other for five months, he is one of my online friends. He was the mysterious bad boy of my crushes but he was also very sweet and is a great friend. Again, Al is his own post, my crush on him still lingers today but started the second half of sophomore year. Unfortunately Al was dating someone when we still went to the same school however they broke up a couple months ago (she broke up with him. I don't know why) but now I see him in more of a friend light than a crush light.

Celebrity crushes don't have to have to have fake names however. I did have celebrity crushes but this guy is the biggest crush I've had on a celebrity, so here goes...

Tom Hiddleston. I discovered him through his character Loki in the Thor Marvel movies. I also have a crush on Loki. Tom however has many qualities that I find very attractive as well. And no I don't just like him because he's super attractive (look at that face though) but he's sweet to kids, he's nice, he's very talented, and kind of a romantic, also a major turn on: he is a feminist! What is more attractive than believing men and women are equal? That is rhetorical by the way, the answer is nothing. BTW... here is a picture of Tom dressed as Loki on set for Thor Ragnarok:

And here is Loki in a scene from Thor Ragnarok:

Thor is on the left, Loki is on the right. Just FYI. Anyway, I think this is long enough considering it's just about my crushes but there you go.

See you in a while crocodile!
(Personally my favorite animal is a Bengal Tiger, not to big on crocodiles)