This Should Never Be Said, With Or Without Context

 

Warrensburg, Missouri 2008 or 2009

Age seven was apparently a bad year for me.

You might have heard that every 7 years, every cell in your body has died, and been replaced, essentially making you a new person. This is false --> Here lies the proof

When I was 7 I was at a routine check-up at the Doctor's. As were about to sign out I got bored of waiting for my Mom to do the paperwork, and wandered off to the Nurses lounge. I thought that Nurses had to be nice, because they help people, therefore, the perfect people to hang out with. The Nurses thought I was cute, and asked where my Mama was, and I told them. The Nurse I approached did a standard "If I poke you here does that hurt?". As my Mom approached, the Nurse asked me "Has anyone touched you inside your underwear?" to which I replied "Yes, and Daddy took pictures". My Mom, and the Nurse looked at each other. The Nurse said "You know I have to report this right?" Mom replied "Please do".

CPS were summoned, and interviewed me. I told them nothing. They dismissed it, and my life was to carry on just as it had been.

Clinton, Missouri 2008 or 2009

My Mom was in the passenger seat of [Redacted]'s car. As they passed a small electronics store [Redacted] casually mentioned that the man who owned the store had been arrested as he had been found out to be part of a child p*rnography ring. Mom was aghast, but this information had been tossed, and abandoned like a piece of dirty gossip instead of a horrendous felony being committed.

Warrensburg, Missouri 2008 or 2009

I got a UTI. I also didn't wipe because my dad always rushed me when I went to the bathroom, and if I said 'but I have to wipe' or 'I haven't washed my hands yet' he would tell me to just skip it or we were going to be late.

I also started displaying symptoms of child abuse/child trauma:

Developed a phobia(s)

Exhibited signs of Depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Expressed suicidal thoughts (from age 8, also thoughts of killing others)

Trouble in School

Nightmares (Almost every night)

Assumes a caretaker role, overly protective, or concerned for other children

Returned to regressive behaviors

Self Harm

Shrinks Away/Threatened by physical contact

Dissociation

Anxiety Attacks

Overly compliant behavior

Overly aggressive behavior

Trying to avoid removing clothing to change or bathe (Noted: I had low fine motor skills, and had trouble doing tasks that required anything more complicated than a zipper)

Decrease in confidence/self-image

Excessive worry, and fearfulness

Increase in unexplained health problems like stomachaches, and headaches

Fear of being alone at night

Note: I had to walk away from this article as I got upset

West Coast, November 2021

I don't remember anything ever happening to me. Me, and Mom looked things up trying to see if any people busted for having CP had familiar names or faces. Nothing rang a bell. If I don't remember anything happening, did it happen? If I have no proof then it had to be a weird thing kids say, right?

Once when I was a kid my Mom, and Papa were talking, and I got bored. To bring the attention to myself I screamed that I had seen a rat/mouse hybrid that was huge, and had glowing red eyes, and foamed at the mouth. This was a lie. But casually saying that my father had taken pictures of someone touching me inappropriately as casually as I would give the weather is not something I would make up. I didn't know what sex was or that what was going on down there did anything except go to the toilet. I knew what a penis was (when I was age 6, and below I would sometimes be bathed with my half-uncles who were three years younger than me by my step-mother. Also I apparently me, and both my best friends male, and female had looked at each others junk when we were kids? And apparently that's normal kid behavior as long they don't touch anything), and that sex was a guy a kissing a girl, and then they wiggled around with each other, but I didn't know how that resulted in a baby. Again, I thought babies lived in the stomach.

I've also had repressed memories of things before, so the idea that I could be repressing a memory isn't out of question. I'm tired, so I'm ending it here. May edit this later, or give update.

Can I Just Not Be An Abuse Victim? Like Could I Just Zap Myself A Healthy Childhood? Thanks.

That One Girl Who Just Wants Some Pie Right Now